Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Twelve Days

Hi guys. I guess you’ve probably noticed my absence from the website recently. Well, I’ve finally felt good enough to post something. So here goes. I’ve been in the hospital for the last twelve days and I’m still not sure when I will get out. Hopefully soon. Hopefully. I’m definitely ready.

Unfortunately, I was pretty sick when I arrived. I started out with an infection that made its way into my transplanted kidney and then into my bloodstream. Not good. Not fun.

But what makes matters much more difficult is that for more than a year now, my transplanted kidney has not been doing it’s best. I chose not to tell anyone because I wanted to focus on being positive, but I’ve slowly had to come to terms that my kidney, the wonderful gift of life given to me more than eighteen years ago will not be with me forever. Actually, something I never really expected to happen. But I was so young when I received it and it has done so superbly over the years, I never had a reason to question its lifespan. I’ve learned recently however, that 18 years is fantastic for a transplanted kidney and even better since mine was from a deceased donor. I can’t tell you how hard it is to accept that I will have to let this kidney go. Feelings of letting my deceased donor down fill my heart with sadness.

But it is happening. And faster than I anticipated. Before getting sick two weeks ago, I had begun the process to be re-evaluated for another kidney transplant and to be added to the transplant waiting list. In the meantime, my mom is being tested to be a possible donor. I had thought I would have time to do all of this and hopefully have surgery and not skip a beat with my job or with this website that I enjoy sharing with you so much.

No such luck. Since I’ve been here, I’ve started dialysis to take some stress off my distressed kidney while it tries to heal. The hope is that I would be on dialysis for a short while, giving my transplanted kidney time to recuperate. Then, go off dialysis and try to squeak a few more months out before surgery is needed.

The alternative, though which is just as possible is that 1) I’ll be on dialysis until my mom is confirmed as a donor or 2) My mom is not a potential donor and then I would stay on dialysis while I wait on the list for a kidney to become available.

So that’s what’s been going on. That’s the reason for the lack of cake pops and cupcakes and cute. I just wanted to let you know something and thank everyone for their wonderful and inspiring get well wishes. You guys are a huge bright spot in my life. You have no idea how much.

Hugs,
Bakerella

101
Amy said...

Thanks for letting us know. I wish you the best with your kidney and hope things get better for you quickly!

March 9, 2011 06:11 PM
102
coreen said...

You are in my prayers! Best wishes for a speedy recovery.

March 9, 2011 06:12 PM
103
Naomi said...

Best wishes for a speedy recovery. Feel better soon and think happy and positive thoughts!

March 9, 2011 06:13 PM
104
Kelly W said...

Get well soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March 9, 2011 06:14 PM
105
Heidi @ Food Doodles said...

Wishing and hoping for the best for you!!

March 9, 2011 06:15 PM
106
Stoich91 said...

Wow – I always thought you were super; now I know you’re a super hero. We love you and are wishing for the best! A good donor is hard to find and it’s stories like this encourage and raise awareness…when it comes to someone you care about, something bursts inside of you and all the other stories become so much more realistic. Thanks for sharing, the good and the bad with us here. You will always be one of the most amazing bakers I (virtually! ;)) know. Get well soon!

March 9, 2011 06:15 PM
107
Amanda (Once Upon a Recipe) said...

Sending big hugs your way and keeping you in my thoughts!

March 9, 2011 06:16 PM
108
Kristina said...

You are a huge inspiration to me. I read your transplant story a year or so ago when I first starting following your blog. What a positive outlook you have and it is contagious. I have a liver disease that will likely require me to have a liver transplant…your story gave me and continues to give me inspiration. I am sending you lots of prayers from Texas!

Kristina
modernfrills@yahoo.com

March 9, 2011 06:16 PM
109
Emma said...

Thank you for being the bright spot in our lives too!! Many prayers will be sent up for you. I pray that a matching donor kidney will be provided sooner than anyone though possible and that you will make a full and wonderful recovery!
Baking love from New Zealand.

March 9, 2011 06:16 PM
110
Amy said...

Our prayers are with you! You spread so much good and joy to others, and I hope the same will come your way! Wishing you the very best, now and always!

March 9, 2011 06:16 PM
111
Ruth said...

Oh deary me. I had no clue. I hope you can find a good match soon lady, my thoughts are with you xx

March 9, 2011 06:16 PM
112
Shannon said...

Long time reader here! I’ve never commented before but this seems an appropriate time to say how much I enjoy your wonderful blog and how many compliments I’ve had when giving out cake pops! Thanks for all the inspiration! Wishing you the very best of outcomes with this difficult health situation and peace and patience while you wait.

March 9, 2011 06:16 PM
113
Hayley said...

Our thoughts and prayers are with you!! Get well soon and stay strong!

March 9, 2011 06:16 PM
114
Nuha said...

you are definitely in my thoughts and prayers. You’re such an inspiration to SO many people! I’m wishing you a speedy recovery.

xoxo

March 9, 2011 06:16 PM
115
justine said...

best wishes for a match, and a speedy recovery.

March 9, 2011 06:17 PM
116
Ara said...

I wish you all the best and a very quick recovery! Keep strong and with a positive attitude as you have always been. Thank you for inspiring us with your beautiful creations. Get well soon!

March 9, 2011 06:17 PM
117
tayamg said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Stay positive and stay strong!

March 9, 2011 06:17 PM
118
pattie said...

My prayers are with you, Bakerella.

March 9, 2011 06:17 PM
119
Rosie said...

Bakerella, I’ll give you one of my kidneys if that means you get better and then we start seeing more awesome baking from you. I want nothing more right now then to see you and your mother (Or who ever your donor will be)back on your feet and healthy. I know this might sound silly or weird, but please let us “Bakerella Fan Club” members if there is anything we can do for you. Please get your rest!!!! Big hugs from me to you and your family.

March 9, 2011 06:18 PM
120
Karen d. said...

I had a strong feeling that you weren’t well..I even tried googling it! Many prayers are going up for you and your Mom right now. We surely miss the wonderfulness of your super cute creations …but more than anything we pray that you will be the picture of health very soon :)

March 9, 2011 06:18 PM
121
Chris said...

Much love and healing to you! Prayers and love coming your way from PA!

March 9, 2011 06:18 PM
122
Tania said...

Lots of love to you!!

March 9, 2011 06:19 PM
123
Angie J. said...

Love you and your cute little cake pops! Praying for your recovery….

March 9, 2011 06:19 PM
124
Amy Carter said...

Sending love and positive thoughts your way!

March 9, 2011 06:20 PM
125
megacrafty said...

Thoughts and prayers are with you, your mom and the rest of your family. Rest and try not to stress as much as is possible- I’ll be sending you good kidney function wishes, thoughts and energy. And hope that this resolves itself in the best way possible!

March 9, 2011 06:20 PM
126
dee said...

i wish you a speedy and easy recovery. the worst thing you can do is stress about things you can’t control when you’re sick. you are in our thoughts and prayers.

–dee

March 9, 2011 06:21 PM
127
Rachel said...

Sending all my love and prayers in your direction. I hope you’ll feel even a fraction of the joy that your lovely blog brings all of us in these well wishes.

March 9, 2011 06:21 PM
128
Jill O. said...

Stay strong, Bakerella. 18 years is amazing and is a compliment to your original donor’s choices. Hoping you get even more mileage out of your next kidney!!!

March 9, 2011 06:21 PM
129
Kiran said...

Loads of love, hugs and well wishes to you.

March 9, 2011 06:21 PM
130
Hollie said...

So sorry to read about your kidney. Wishing you a quick match and speedy, total recovery.

March 9, 2011 06:22 PM
131
Cupcake Activist said...

I’m sending good vibes your way! Wish you a speedy recovery and good news soon.

March 9, 2011 06:22 PM
132
Alicia said...

Prayers to you Bakerella during this hard time! We all miss you!!!!

March 9, 2011 06:23 PM
133
Susan said...

You are in my prayers, Bakerella!!

March 9, 2011 06:23 PM
134
Sharlene said...

I’m so sorry to hear about your kidney! It’s so to be on dialysis and awaiting a new organ. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

March 9, 2011 06:23 PM
135
Sarah - byneedleandthread said...

take care. hope you fee better soon. hugs.

March 9, 2011 06:23 PM
136
amanda @ fake ginger said...

*hugs* I wish you the best and hope that you are able to find a match soon! Know that all of the blog world is behind you! :)

March 9, 2011 06:23 PM
137
Lulu said...

Keeping you in our prayers and thoughts! We just LOVE you, and know that things will be okay. Hang in there. ;-)

March 9, 2011 06:24 PM
138
Brian said...

I am not even sure why I decided to come to your site today. I tear up reading your message being you were my first love. I pray that you find a match quickly. The world needs more of your creativity. Your mom is a beautiful person. I will continue to pray for you. Take care.

March 9, 2011 06:24 PM
139
Shannon said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

((hugs))

March 9, 2011 06:24 PM
140
Molly said...

Oh no! Can’t we craft you one out of cakepops?

sending you good vibes darling. Let me know if I need to launch a “Find Bakerella a kidney” campaign.

March 9, 2011 06:25 PM
141
Mary @ stylefyles said...

thoughts and prayers to you. all the best.

March 9, 2011 06:25 PM
142
Elise said...

Feel better Bakerella! We’re rooting for you and your mama! :)

March 9, 2011 06:26 PM
143
Jamie said...

Sending prayers and lots of positive thoughts! *hugs*

March 9, 2011 06:26 PM
144
Sana said...

I will pray for you, and I hope it all goes well. We’re all here for you so don’t worry about taking time off from blogging. <3

March 9, 2011 06:26 PM
145
Natalie said...

Bakerella, as a nurse who works with transplant patients thank you for sharing your amazing story!!!! I hope you feel better soon :)

March 9, 2011 06:27 PM
146
Mary said...

*Hugs* get better soon! I’ve been missing your posts and had wondered if you were ok. I’m sending good thoughts and well-wishes your way!

March 9, 2011 06:27 PM
147
Elizabeth Ann said...

I’m praying for you. . .

March 9, 2011 06:27 PM
148
Karie Ford said...

I was wondering about the silence! You are in my thoughts. Get well and take rest and I look forward to all your future gorgeous and yummy baking!

March 9, 2011 06:28 PM
149
Mary Ann said...

Very best wishes to you! You are in my heart and in my prayers.

March 9, 2011 06:28 PM
150
Crystal Hamilton said...

Prayers to you and your family!

March 9, 2011 06:28 PM
151
Jessica said...

Wishing you a fast recovery and a smooth road ahead. You are an inspiration to all of us!

March 9, 2011 06:28 PM
152
Stacey said...

I will be praying for you and your family. May God bless you and heal you quickly.

March 9, 2011 06:29 PM
153
Eli said...

I hope everything works out soon, and I will be waiting for your beautiful cakepops!Get better soon Bakerella!
Hugs and love from Argentina (:

March 9, 2011 06:29 PM
154
Winnie H said...

What terrible news! Praying that you’ll get through this and the sooner the better! *hugs*

March 9, 2011 06:29 PM
155
Melissa said...

Nothing is more important then your health. Take care of yourself and we will all be baking lots of cake pops until you are well enough to teach us more. Praying for you!

March 9, 2011 06:30 PM
156
Maria Lomax said...

My prayers are with you. My good thoughts too.

March 9, 2011 06:30 PM
157
Lindsay (Young Married Mom) said...

My prayers are with you and your mom. Stay strong!

March 9, 2011 06:31 PM
158
Kristin said...

Oh my! My heart goes out to you. And your mom, too! Best wishes and lots of love! I hope everything works out very soon.

March 9, 2011 06:31 PM
159
Laurie Suriff said...

Just to let you know that your in my daily thoughts and prayers and sending you lots of hugs. Hoping you find a perfect match soon and a very very speedy recovery. You are an inspiration!!
Whimsy Cookie Co.

March 9, 2011 06:31 PM
160
Kayla said...

My heart goes out to you – we will definitely keep you in our prayers. Hoping things go as well as they can for you.

My teenage daughter just discovered your cake pops book in my cookbook library and she has been having a blast with it – so even though you are missed on the blog, the joy you have shared with all your creations is still having a ripple effect. Take the time you need – we all want you to be healthy. Cyber hugs!

March 9, 2011 06:32 PM
161
Fiona @ Jackadaw said...

Wow! My thoughts are with you and I’m sending good vibes your way.

March 9, 2011 06:32 PM
162
Laura said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you . . . Hoping you find a matching donor soon and wishing you a speedy recovery.

March 9, 2011 06:32 PM
163
Rachel said...

I am sorry to hear you have been sick. I hope your mom can be a donor & that you are doing better soon!

March 9, 2011 06:33 PM
164
Carolyn said...

I’m adding myself to the list of people wishing you well. I’m sending you lots of good wishes and high-tech thoughts.

In addition, I’m taking the time to FINALLY buy the book. I’ve been meaning to do it for a while, but now seems like the perfect time.

I hope you get better soon.

March 9, 2011 06:33 PM
165
ames said...

Good luck Bakerella! We love you!

March 9, 2011 06:33 PM
166
April said...

You are such a strong and amazing woman! I hope you pull through this quickly and get 100% healthy soon! Positive thoughts and prayers coming your way :)

March 9, 2011 06:34 PM
167
Mary @ Delightful Bitefuls said...

Praying for a healthy kidney and a fast and speedy recovery. Get better! You’re missed xo

March 9, 2011 06:35 PM
168
Sarah said...

First time commenting but I have been reading for a long time. My heart and well wishes go out to you. Rest, get better. We’re here.

March 9, 2011 06:35 PM
169
Katie said...

I will pray for you. {{{HUGS}}}

March 9, 2011 06:35 PM
170
Ava Hockenberry said...

I have faith in your recovery and hope that you will be back to full health soon! I know that we ALL miss YOU! I’m happy that we bring sun into your heart just the same as you have done for us!
Love <3<3<3<3<3<3
Ava (#1 fan!)

March 9, 2011 06:35 PM
171
lizy said...

Just wanted to let u know that from Puerto Rico..we send you lots of prayers and hope you get well soon….in god we trust..and may everything go well with the donor…

March 9, 2011 06:35 PM
172
liz @ btb said...

Sending “positive match” energy your way! Feel better Bakerella!

March 9, 2011 06:36 PM
173
Staci said...

My thought and prayers are with you…

March 9, 2011 06:36 PM
174
erin said...

Thank you for sharing your story, that must have been difficult for you. Stay strong, I will think good thoughts for you and your family. I hope your mother is a match, fingers crossed!

March 9, 2011 06:36 PM
175
natalie said...

Sorry to hear of your illness. You’ve inspired me in so many ways with your creations. I’ve attempted many of your goodies, much to the delight of my family. I’m praying for a positive outcome and a speedy recovery.

March 9, 2011 06:37 PM
176
Susan C. said...

I don’t normally comment, but wanted to say that I’m so sorry you haven’t been feeling well the past couple of weeks. I hope that you find a kidney match soon and have a speedy recovery! Many thoughts and prayers go to you and your family! :)

March 9, 2011 06:37 PM
177
Elizabeth said...

Hoping for a successful donor match and soon!! Hoping you feel better soon and have a quick recovery. We miss you!!

March 9, 2011 06:37 PM
178
Heather said...

Like some other commenters above, I have been a faithful, long-time reader of your blog but I have never commented before until now. Your blog and your amazng creativity and genuinely friendly presence–not to mention your great photos and your awesome new book–have been such an inspiration to me. In fact, you were the driving force behind me starting a new blog so that I could write about my baking and creativity. So, you have also been a bright spot in my life! I wish you all the best during your treatment and recovery from your illness and good health for many years to come. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Heather

March 9, 2011 06:38 PM
179
Grace said...

I’m sorry to hear about your recent medical difficulties. I hope you find a donor match soon and that you start getting better!

March 9, 2011 06:38 PM
180
Lauren said...

I am a long-time reader of yours and such a fan of your whimsy and creativity, but I have never posted a comment. Please know that my thoughts are with you and I hope so much that things work out as quickly and painlessly as possible.

March 9, 2011 06:39 PM
181
Jennie said...

best wishes for a speedy recovery! I’ll be thinking of you every time i bake!

March 9, 2011 06:40 PM
182
Lydia Jo Martin said...

Prayers for you! Love you.

March 9, 2011 06:41 PM
183
Caryn said...

I had been wondering! I’m so sorry for the reason you’ve been away. I pray that there is an answer for you very soon. Hang in there!!!

March 9, 2011 06:41 PM
184
liz said...

I’m so sorry to hear your news…I’m saying a prayer for you.

March 9, 2011 06:41 PM
185
Kirstie said...

Adding my virtual hugs and positive vibes. Feel better, and we hope to see you back soon, happy and healthy.

March 9, 2011 06:42 PM
186
Meredith said...

My hugs, thoughts and prayers are with you. Thanks so much for sharing with us. Please get well soon!!

March 9, 2011 06:42 PM
187
Megan said...

I will be praying for you to find a match very soon. I am so sorry for you to go through this. Get well soon! :)))

March 9, 2011 06:42 PM
188
Angelica said...

Wishing you a quick recovery and the very best outcome. You have an amazing spirit and I just know you will come out strong and well. I can’t wait to see more cake pops when you’re all well!

March 9, 2011 06:44 PM
189
Suz said...

Please get well. Take it easy. I will keep you in my prayers.

March 9, 2011 06:44 PM
190
tamela said...

Dearest Angie,
I am so so sorry to hear! You give so much to so many, and it pains me to know you’re going through this… praying for a miracle for you. We miss you and hope you’ll be back on your feet in no time at all.
Much love XXX

March 9, 2011 06:44 PM
191
Nana Phyllis said...

So sorry you have to go through this. You are in my prayers.

March 9, 2011 06:45 PM
192
Lisita Davis said...

Hugs right back at you! Hoping for a quick recovery!

March 9, 2011 06:45 PM
193
Melissa said...

So sorry to hear that. Thoughts and prayers are with you for a fast recovery!! Feel better xoxo

March 9, 2011 06:45 PM
194
patsy messer said...

Huge fan here- my daughers & I saw you in SLCity.
i just told my daughter about this post & your kidney & she replied that starbucks put on facebook that they have cake pops- her reply? YOU TOTALLY STOLE THAT IDEA FROM BAKERELLA!

Hugs & kisses & prayers & everything else you need in the world from us here!
We love you!
and your mom!!

March 9, 2011 06:45 PM
195
Ellan said...

Bakerella, we’re sending you warm, healing thoughts from Hawaii. Best wishes to you and your Mom!

March 9, 2011 06:46 PM
196
Winter said...

Bakerella, I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this. Our thoughts and prayers are with you! I hope that things work out with finding a matched donor and the surgery goes well!

March 9, 2011 06:46 PM
197
Jen said...

Thinking of you and hoping that you’re well soon. Take care of yourself!

March 9, 2011 06:46 PM
198
Angie said...

I was just thinking the other day that you hadn’t posted this week. I will keep you and your mom in my prayers.

March 9, 2011 06:46 PM
199
Ashwini Vanmali said...

Wishing you Good luck..Hope you find a donor soon:)
May God Bless.

March 9, 2011 06:47 PM
200
Joscie, rhymes with bossy said...

My prayers for a complete healing and resolution for your sickness. xox

March 9, 2011 06:48 PM
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