Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Twelve Days

Hi guys. I guess you’ve probably noticed my absence from the website recently. Well, I’ve finally felt good enough to post something. So here goes. I’ve been in the hospital for the last twelve days and I’m still not sure when I will get out. Hopefully soon. Hopefully. I’m definitely ready.

Unfortunately, I was pretty sick when I arrived. I started out with an infection that made its way into my transplanted kidney and then into my bloodstream. Not good. Not fun.

But what makes matters much more difficult is that for more than a year now, my transplanted kidney has not been doing it’s best. I chose not to tell anyone because I wanted to focus on being positive, but I’ve slowly had to come to terms that my kidney, the wonderful gift of life given to me more than eighteen years ago will not be with me forever. Actually, something I never really expected to happen. But I was so young when I received it and it has done so superbly over the years, I never had a reason to question its lifespan. I’ve learned recently however, that 18 years is fantastic for a transplanted kidney and even better since mine was from a deceased donor. I can’t tell you how hard it is to accept that I will have to let this kidney go. Feelings of letting my deceased donor down fill my heart with sadness.

But it is happening. And faster than I anticipated. Before getting sick two weeks ago, I had begun the process to be re-evaluated for another kidney transplant and to be added to the transplant waiting list. In the meantime, my mom is being tested to be a possible donor. I had thought I would have time to do all of this and hopefully have surgery and not skip a beat with my job or with this website that I enjoy sharing with you so much.

No such luck. Since I’ve been here, I’ve started dialysis to take some stress off my distressed kidney while it tries to heal. The hope is that I would be on dialysis for a short while, giving my transplanted kidney time to recuperate. Then, go off dialysis and try to squeak a few more months out before surgery is needed.

The alternative, though which is just as possible is that 1) I’ll be on dialysis until my mom is confirmed as a donor or 2) My mom is not a potential donor and then I would stay on dialysis while I wait on the list for a kidney to become available.

So that’s what’s been going on. That’s the reason for the lack of cake pops and cupcakes and cute. I just wanted to let you know something and thank everyone for their wonderful and inspiring get well wishes. You guys are a huge bright spot in my life. You have no idea how much.


Jeannie said...

You are such a bright spot that I really do miss you and all your beautiful work. I have added you to my list of people to pray for everyday. Take good care of yourself and remember to think very positive. Your in our thoughts everyday and we are really looking forward to you getting well and coming back to us feeling like your old self again. All the best to you and I can hardly wait until your back. STAY STRONG!

March 22, 2011 06:18 AM
Cathy said...

Hey there! Just want you to know what an inspiration you have been to me. Ever since I came across your website ( by accident) I’ve been hooked on your wonderful ideas. You’ve inspired me to start my own business. My thoughts and prayers are with you today and always. Please keep us posted when you can…sending you lots of hugs!

March 22, 2011 09:54 AM
SPC Reynolds, Adriane said...


I’m a soldier, deployed to Afghanistan. I have to start off by thanking you, first. You are amazing. I stumbled across your blog a few months ago, while I was bored, searching for pictures of cute things. In such a terrible place, war surrounding myself and all of the other soldiers, I find so much happiness and joy, looking at your blog and seeing your posts. I’ve even decided that I am going to become a pastry chef, when I get out of the Army, and hopefully open up my own bake shop! Your optimism is unconquerable, your spirit so bright and cheery. I guess I just want to tell you that I am so thankful for all that you do; bringing joy, smiles and happiness to thousands and thousands of people around the world. (possibly millions!) You will be in our prayers, hearts and thoughts. You will make it through this, and you will be in better for it. Know that at any given moment, there is SOMEONE praying for you!

March 22, 2011 12:32 PM
mel said...

Hi Bakerella! i have always been a big fan of your cute awesome works and you have been a great inspiration for me. I just want you to know that you have lots of friends coming from all over the world whose lives you have touched with your cute works of art. Stay strong and positive. My uncle is also a kidney receiver and he’s had the kidney for more than 30 years now. Hugs, kisses and prayers, all the way from the Philippines!

March 22, 2011 12:35 PM
Ashlee said...

hugs, thoughts and prayers being sent your way… I appreciate your honesty and your updates

March 22, 2011 01:35 PM
Emmy said...

I’m so sorry to hear that you are sick! I wish you the best and I hope you get well soon! You have amazing support from all of your readers and I hope you know that! :)

Get well soon! Lots of hugs!

March 22, 2011 01:42 PM
Ellen said...

Hey Bakerella,

I’m so sorry to read that you are going through this situation. I’m sending you loads and loads of positive vibes for you and your family. My best wishes and hope go out to you. Keep the faith girl!

We will all keep you in our prayers!

March 22, 2011 07:07 PM
Lisa said...

So sorry to hear about your health issues. Stay strong and positive. You are an inspiration to us all. :)

March 22, 2011 09:09 PM
Valerie said...

Hello Bakerella! What a fun website I came across today! So sorry to here of your kidney disorder. We have a friend who’s kidney was shutting down until her holistic doctor friend told her about changing her food and water she consumed to an alkaline one! She was really desperate to get her health back in order and was totally amazed at her recovery.I also drink this amazing water for my health since i struggle with fibromyalgia. This info has been a Godsend. Perhaps it would be of interest to you? www dot sharekangen dot com
May God bless you richly dear heart!

March 22, 2011 10:33 PM
Jaime said...

Wow, you’re so positive and such a good role model. It’s okay, you have every right not to post, to have bad days, and to take time for yourself; you’re human. Your fans are your fans through thick & thin and we’re rooting for you and a new kidney. Take care of yourself. No rush. XOXO

March 23, 2011 01:35 AM
BackCountryBelle said...

I will say a prayer for you and your family! Keep your spirits high, all things are possible through Him.

March 23, 2011 01:47 AM
sara said...

My thoughts are with you and your Mom, best wishes!

March 23, 2011 07:35 AM
Elizabeth said...

Greetings from Puerto Rico, I will be praying for you, get well soon.

March 23, 2011 07:47 AM
Revati said...

Hi Bakerella….You have been very strong until now…..and now is the time to be little stronger than before… is very easy to start thinking negatively but don’t let that happen……….All of us here are sending you loads of positive energy through our messages….just grasp it with open heart …….We all love you…

March 23, 2011 08:13 AM
Stephanie said...

Just wanted to send my warm wishes. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

March 23, 2011 08:28 AM
eleni said...

Stay strong and in good spirits–special thoughts and prayers from Miami, FL xo

March 23, 2011 04:23 PM
Michelle Joyce said...

Thoughts and prayers are with you!

March 23, 2011 04:47 PM
julie d said...

Thinking of you and hoping that you feel better soon!

March 23, 2011 09:15 PM
CardioQueen said...

I’m very late in posting a comment, but still wanted to let you know that you’re being thought of. You’ve done an incredible job of staying positive, and I only know you through this blog. You inspire me to be creative and brave with baking, as well as photography of my less-than-awesome baked goods. I’ll be praying for you, Bakerella, and definitely thinking of you when sweet things come to mind, edible or not. :)

March 23, 2011 11:06 PM
Mel said...

First time poster, long time reader. Good luck to you. You are brave and positive, a strong combination. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I have been meaning to comment since seeing cake pops appear in my local Starbucks, no doubt, popular because of you, and I’m sorry I didn’t before now. Get better soon and keep creating. I am envious of your artistic and creative talents.

March 24, 2011 02:41 PM
Faith Made Possible said...

You have been a source of inspiration to so many!! My sister bought me your Cake Pops cookbook for Christmas because she knows of my love of baking:) Now she (and everyone else I meet) also knows of my love for your blog and your sweet recipies!

My thoughts and prayers are with you today! Sending you many bright spots and positive thoughts:)

Baking luv!

March 24, 2011 03:53 PM
Jackie said...

Thank-you for sharing. You have an amazing attitude! Sending lots of prayers your way! : )

March 24, 2011 04:22 PM
Jill said...

my heart is breaking for you. xoxox

March 24, 2011 07:03 PM
Kristen said...

You are definately in my prayers and I hope everything turns out great!

March 24, 2011 10:13 PM
Kristina said...

My sister, mom and I had a great time painting cupcakes with you in Newport last fall… such a bonus that our friends were so jealous!! Here’s wishing you a speedy process to get your new part found, hooked up and working! xoxo

March 24, 2011 11:02 PM
Pampered Sweet Tooth said...

Hugs and prayers to you. Happy to know that you are feeling a little better and gracing us with your presence in the blogosphere.

March 25, 2011 03:19 PM
Cecilia Demarque said...

Prayers from Brazil!!

March 25, 2011 03:35 PM
Heather said...

Thinking of and praying for you -

March 26, 2011 12:58 PM
lexi said...

feel better, i know it will all be okay

March 26, 2011 01:24 PM
Sweetscapes said...

Best wishes Bakerella,
Hope you get better soon!

March 26, 2011 07:33 PM
Stacey said...

i am so incredibly sad and i wish you the best in all your endeavors and roller coasters to come. xx
I linked you in my newest

March 27, 2011 12:22 AM
Mapat said...

I don’t speak english, i’m sorry , but…..
desde Mexico estamos orando por ti bakerella, sabemos que la luz de Dios estara arropandote, tenemos fe en que saldras adelante, te queremos mucho bakerella!!!!!
que Dios te bendiga, a ti y a tu mama…
from: Monterrey, Mexico….

March 27, 2011 09:48 AM
Bonadea said...

Prayers sent your way.

March 27, 2011 12:50 PM
indimew said...

Wow! The news came as a shock to me. I send you my thoughts and prayers for you and for your little kidney. I hope it heals and does well. I never knew kidney transplants weren’t permanent. I hope you do well and you keep positive, you are so happy and bright all of the time, the greatest tragedy would be for the world to not see your smiling face.
Will send prayers every day to you and your family. Be strong and stay positive! Much love to you and yours.

March 28, 2011 11:26 AM
Sherry said...

Know that we all will be praying for your complete recovery. You are an inspiration for us all and your faith and strong spirit will get you through the days ahead.

March 28, 2011 07:39 PM
Brandy Townsend said...

Praying for your recovery!

March 29, 2011 11:30 AM
Amisha said...

Hugs! You continue to amaze me with your talent and strength! You’ll be in my prayers!

March 29, 2011 11:52 AM
Kat said...

Thoughts and prayers with you!!!

March 29, 2011 07:05 PM
Michelle said...

I just happened upon you site while searching cake pops and read your posts. I was thrilled to find such a wonderful and beautiful place to visit. I was looking at the site name to send to my daughter when i happened across you comments. I was taken by surprise to discover that you are dealing with such an ominous health problem. My heart and prayers go out to you. i have 3 daughters, one of which is dealing with health problems and i know how disruptive it can be. I wish you all the best and hope that better days are just around the corner.

March 30, 2011 08:49 AM
denise said...

Hi, I’m from Brazil and I’m an faithful reader of the blog. I love the tips you give in many recipes…Just wanted to say that I’ll pray for you and your family! God will not desapoint you, He loves you! Wishes for a quick and easy recovery.

God bless you


March 30, 2011 12:07 PM
melody said...

A bit late, but I couldn’t NOT respond. Thank you for sharing not just your amazing treats with us, but also sharing your hardships and struggles. It means a lot for us to hear your honesty. You’re in my prayers.

March 30, 2011 05:01 PM
Jamie Frost said...

Your site brings me sheer bliss and happiness even on the gloomiest of days. The internet has a way of pulling people together from all over to share their stories, their happiness, and sometimes their pitfalls. I’ve been reading this blog for a good many of years, to the point where I feel like I know you! I can’t believe how positive you’re being and I believe that positive energy will help you through this all. I wish you the best! We’re all cheering you on from the sidelines! Get well soon!

Good luck,

March 30, 2011 07:08 PM
Andrea said...

I’ve taken out my autographed copy of your book (my daughter’s Christmas present), and placed it front and center on my desk to remind me to send good wishes to you every day. Prayers and thoughts to you right now as you face this new challenge, and hoping for a miracle that your Mom will be a potential donor. xo

March 31, 2011 05:30 AM
Karissa Ferguson said...

Thinking of you! That’s awful. And you have definitely not let anyone down, especially your donor! I’m sure that person would be so happy to know that they’re kidney was with you 18 years, that’s great :) I hope you find good news from your moms test results.

March 31, 2011 02:28 PM
corrie said...

oh my sweet bakerella, I’m so sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine you being sick or in hospital as you always have so much life and fun in your photos. take it easy and so glad there is so much love and prayers coming your way. Just add one more prayer from me


April 2, 2011 06:16 AM
Dawn said...

Blessings upon you and those around you. Waiting is so hard…especially when your mind wants to go places and do things that your body is not able to do. I pray that your healing is speedy and Peace reigns in your heart.

April 3, 2011 03:47 PM
Stephanie said...

You are in my prayers!

April 4, 2011 09:31 AM
Evelin said...

I stumbled upon your blog through Ree’s comments and have told lots of my baking (or at least would be baking) friends a link to your site to cheer them up and now you need it… What can I do to cheer you up? Hope you will read this soon and that you are feeling better and that your mom is the good one to donate a kidney… I wish you all the luck in the world!
Evelin in the Netherlands

April 4, 2011 01:20 PM
Claudia said...

I hope you’ll get better soon!
Prayers to you from Brazil!

April 5, 2011 01:55 PM
Linda K said...

Likewise, I have been following off and on and have adored your creativity and your upbeat gorgeous website but have never commented.
May your search for a new kidney be brief and your years be many and full of love, peace and joy.

April 5, 2011 01:57 PM
Art said...

Late to your blog… late seeing this. Praying for you and a quick recovery & new kidney!

April 5, 2011 04:11 PM
Sara M said...

Well I’m about a month late on this, but I wish you all the best. My thoughts and prayers are with you! Sending good healing vibes your way!

April 5, 2011 09:48 PM
Kathlyn said...

Oh my goodness . . . I know I’m late in reading this (my computer has died and I have very minimal access to my hubby’s) but I wanted to let you know that you (and your mom!) are in my prayers.

April 6, 2011 02:16 PM
Candace said...

I am so sorry to hear about your situation right now. I do know someone who had 2 kidney transplants and lived a long otherwise healthy life. I will pray for you. You are so very talented!

April 7, 2011 08:45 PM
Chocolate Lilly said...

I am always amazed by your kind, giving spirit! You share all your ideas with us and I LOVE your blog, it is the best. In England there are Cake poppers (myself included) but you are the Cake Pop Mother and whenever I make them I think ‘would bakerella approve!’ Sending you prayers and strength and good vibrations(the healing kind) with love Kerry xx

April 8, 2011 08:42 AM
LoyoyaNL said...

I’ll hope you get well very soon. Your such a positive person. You are so beautiful, warm and so funny. You will be in my prayers.

Huges and love from Babs

April 8, 2011 02:13 PM
LoyoyaNL said...

I mean hugs….i’m dutch lol

April 8, 2011 02:14 PM
Jessica said...

I’m praying that Jesus will give you strength and that you will find a donor soon!

April 9, 2011 04:22 PM
Alan marconi said...

I really love your blog.My Daughter-in-Law told me about it.she told me she went to Miami with you……. I wish you all the best and my prayers are with you.Thank You again..Alan

April 10, 2011 10:05 AM
Lyndsay said...

Gosh, You have all our best wishes and support from everyone at Sweet Cuppin Cakes Bakery. Your post brought quite a few tears to my eyes and I just want you to know I think you are the most beautiful person Angie xox Lyndsay

April 10, 2011 11:39 PM
soph said...

feel better and stronger soon
we all love you

April 11, 2011 09:39 AM
Darlene said...

I am praying for you to be restored to perfect health with a brand new kidney!

God Bless You!

Hugs from Darlene

April 12, 2011 01:38 AM
charlene said...

I am hoping that both you and your Mom will do well with your surgeries and feel quickly and happily. I am also wishing you a quick re-connection with my friend and yours, CHOCOLATE!

April 13, 2011 08:06 AM
Heather Keogh said...

Wow Bakerella! I just read your post for March 9th. God bless you and your family through this time. One breath at a time, one step at a time. The very best for you.

April 13, 2011 09:10 AM
Tiffany Alvord said...

Hope you get well soon! Thinking about you in my prayers! <3

April 19, 2011 10:33 PM
Surfer Girl said...

Bakerella, hope you feel better really soon! Your in my thoughts and prayers!

p.s. has anyone seen soul surfer yet? best movie ever!!!!!:D <3

April 19, 2011 10:38 PM
Fadra Webb said...

I love your ideas and I make cake topers and I’am 11 hope your doing ok.

April 21, 2011 05:23 PM
Hilary said...

Bakerella, I’m so sorry to hear that you’re due for another kidney transplant. I’ve never commented before but I wanted to let you know that your website is inspirational and makes me want to pursue my passion of baking eventually. I wish you a swift and painless recovery! Hope you know you are in many of your fans’ thoughts and that there is a mass amount of positive energy being sent your way! :) <3

April 22, 2011 08:03 AM
Ali said...

Hope you get well soon.
BTW i love your website!!!

April 22, 2011 02:51 PM
Mathi said...

Get well soon!

April 25, 2011 01:10 AM
najwa said...

i hope u’ll get better soon..i will miss u n ur cake pops until u r well enough 2 bake again..i know u will always b posotive n remain positive n smiling all da time..and come wat may i know u’ll b ok..take care

April 27, 2011 03:19 AM
Britney said...

I am so sorry to hear this news! I check in every once in a while to see what new beautiful treats you have come up with and am very upset to hear that you are ill. I got a similar infection that spread to my kidneys earlier this year and I ended up fainting on a bus that goes around my university’s campus :( I remember how painful having a kidney infection was and I can only imagine what you must be going through… stay strong and remember that all your readers are thinking about you and hoping for the best. With all that positive thinking, you’re sure to be all better in no time! :) I wish you and your mother all the best.

April 28, 2011 12:22 PM
Linda S said...

Lots of love and prayers for you, Bakerella! You are an amazing person and an inspiration! xoxo

April 28, 2011 01:29 PM
Nikki said...

Big hugs and prayers being sent to you from Switzerland. I realize you don’t know me, but you are a big inspiration in my new baking business in CH. Thank you for your inspiration and am thinking positive thoughts and wishing for a speedy recovery.
Nikki xxx

May 4, 2011 05:29 AM
Bernice said...

I heard that you weren’t feeling well, and now I understand why, I just want you to know that I made a prayer for you, and will keep you in my mind, I hope to know that you are all better pretty soon, lots of kisses from Mexico.

May 9, 2011 11:45 AM
debladyrose said...

Blessings! Sending LOTS of love , {{{ HUGS }}} prayers and positive vibes your way!!!!

May 9, 2011 08:19 PM
Desertflower said...

You are in my prayers. I only recently finished chemo and radiation for tonsil cancer and also got huge support and inspiration from the bloggers and comments. I will be praying for you. God Bless you and keep you well.

May 10, 2011 04:05 PM
veri said...

I haven’t commented here before but I like your work a lot! I love cake pops, such a cute idea!
But now I thought I should let you know that you are definately not letting your donor down. His/her kidney lived for 18 years with you, made a ton of cake pops and stuff and had fun doing it – the donor would be proud! Now I guess it’s time to let go, nothing last forever… I am a donor (if something happens to me they can use whatever is useful) and I can tell you I’d be happy if somebody would make it so good with one of my organs – even if for just a few years. And you made it for 18 years -that’s a great result! I can’t imagine how painful the dyalisis is but it will end soon – I hope that you’re already through with it. I wish you could use your kidney for quite some time. If not I wish you a nice quick operation with minimum recovery time:).

May 13, 2011 02:43 AM
biancka said...

I so didnt know about this. I love your website but hadnt been here for a while. I wanted to know that I will keep you in my thoughts and hopefully your mom is a positive match :)

Hugz from The Netherlands

May 13, 2011 05:20 AM
zitouni said...

we love you… kisssssssssssss

May 21, 2011 03:47 PM
zitouni said...

kisses from Algeria ( north AFRICA)

May 21, 2011 03:47 PM
Rachel said...

Im sure everything will be fine. God bless you :)
You’re such a wonderful person, im sure nothing bad will happen to you. smile always! :D

May 23, 2011 10:03 PM
Mavette said...

Te vas a recuperar muy pronto. Todo va a estar bien. Bendiciones y un abrazo!!

May 25, 2011 12:14 PM
Martha said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers. Take care :)

May 29, 2011 09:37 AM
Nía said...

All the way from Costa Rica, I send you the best of wishes on your soon recovery. I have your book and love your blog, thank you soooo much for all you have share with us all over the world.

May 29, 2011 04:10 PM
Lia said...

You’ve been my go-to website whenever I need a pick-me-up. It made me sad to learn about your kidney problem, my youngest brother was diagnosed with the same kind of problem at a young age. But at the same time, you’re more of an inspiration to me now. I will share your story with him. I’m sure you will give him hope about his condition.

I’ll be praying and rooting for you all the way from Asia.

June 4, 2011 11:09 AM
Vani said...

I send you the best of wishes on your soon recuperation.
Thanks for share whit us this notices.
And thank soooou much for your creativity, your smile, your courage, your cake pops!!!!…
From Spain whit a lot of love.

June 17, 2011 08:12 AM
Cynthia D'Alba said...

Thoughts and prayers are with you. Praying for a donor and your recovery.

August 11, 2011 07:59 PM
Harriot said...

Dearest Bakerella, first I want to say that I hope your Mom’s kidney will be the perfect match for you. Can you imagine your Mom being able to give life to you Twice?! What a beautiful thing. Please get well soon. We all miss you.
I want to thank you for Cake Pops. I am a team captain for Relay for life. I have been making Cake Pops to raise money for the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life. I have now raised nearly $600 for my team thanks to those darling little POPs. I enjoy making every single one. I can’t thank you enough. Healing thoughts coming your way.

August 13, 2011 08:14 AM
Laura Holmes said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you – I really hope that your mum is a match and thank you for creating such a beautiful and inspiring blog. I love it! x

August 13, 2011 08:16 AM
Courtenay said...

Feel better soon sweetie. So many prayers sent your way. Just dream of all the fun things you will make when you are better.

August 17, 2011 03:12 PM
Laurie Anne said...

I am sending love and light your way. Your website is always a bright place to visit – joyful and yummy. May your body be completely healed. May it be so.

August 20, 2011 02:56 PM
Leanne said...

Will be praying for you and your doctors as they find a kidney for you. Hoping your mom can be a donor but if not that one is found quickly. Take care of yourself. Thank you for sharing so we know how to lift you up in prayer.

September 6, 2011 08:39 PM
Isabel de Oliveira said...

Dearest Angie,

Wishing you all the best with your transplant – I haven’t heard any more news hopefully you’ve found a donor.
Miss your updates… You must get well soon as you’re such an inspiration around the world. Best wishes from all of us here in Sydney, Australia. Get well soon xxx

September 9, 2011 10:57 PM
Uggs Boots On Sale for Cheap said...

Keeping my fingers crossed for you! It will all be better! You’ll see! Just be positive and brave!

November 10, 2011 06:31 AM
Linda Wilkening said...

So sorry to hear about your illness. I wish you the best and pray your mother’s kidney is a match. I will keep you in our prayers for a speedy recovery. Take care of yourself first. Your cake pops are adorable and we look forward to more when you feel better.

January 2, 2012 03:43 PM
Lauren said...

OMG you poor thing… I got you’re cake pops book for christmas and i went home the next day and started making some- i am TOTALLY ADICTED!!!!! Hope you’re alot better soon xx

January 4, 2012 02:08 PM
annieofbluegables said...

Dear sweet Bakerella, With 4597, you probably won’t even see this, but I had to add my two cents. I have LOVED your blog. You have inspired MANY, countless amounts of people and businesses, with your wonderful ideas. Your wonderful smiling face is well known. You are LOVED. I hope and pray for your full recovery and a transplant donor is found SOON. Much love

January 8, 2012 08:55 PM
sara nieto said...

For me ,God is everything,that said,he knows why bad things happen to us,I’d being dealing with a long and tedious health issue for almost tree years,but if I look to the good side of the problem I have plenty of time to share with my family,learn from you Ladies and Gentlemen,that have became my cyber family somehow,So what I really want to say is,there is always a reason for whatever happen to us,and what is more important to me, is to keep the fate in God and learn that there is so many people that you don’ even Know ,praying for you and wishing you the best ,and sharing their love,Stay strong and keep doing what you love,God will provide you with everything else,xoxo

January 14, 2012 02:25 PM
Ellen said...

I hope everything worked out!

October 17, 2013 10:29 AM
Comment Pages

Random Sweetness
Newsletter 2
Left Custom Ad
Google Left
Bakerella T-Shirts
Show off your inner Bakerella with a super-cute T!
FM Media Survey