Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Twelve Days

Hi guys. I guess you’ve probably noticed my absence from the website recently. Well, I’ve finally felt good enough to post something. So here goes. I’ve been in the hospital for the last twelve days and I’m still not sure when I will get out. Hopefully soon. Hopefully. I’m definitely ready.

Unfortunately, I was pretty sick when I arrived. I started out with an infection that made its way into my transplanted kidney and then into my bloodstream. Not good. Not fun.

But what makes matters much more difficult is that for more than a year now, my transplanted kidney has not been doing it’s best. I chose not to tell anyone because I wanted to focus on being positive, but I’ve slowly had to come to terms that my kidney, the wonderful gift of life given to me more than eighteen years ago will not be with me forever. Actually, something I never really expected to happen. But I was so young when I received it and it has done so superbly over the years, I never had a reason to question its lifespan. I’ve learned recently however, that 18 years is fantastic for a transplanted kidney and even better since mine was from a deceased donor. I can’t tell you how hard it is to accept that I will have to let this kidney go. Feelings of letting my deceased donor down fill my heart with sadness.

But it is happening. And faster than I anticipated. Before getting sick two weeks ago, I had begun the process to be re-evaluated for another kidney transplant and to be added to the transplant waiting list. In the meantime, my mom is being tested to be a possible donor. I had thought I would have time to do all of this and hopefully have surgery and not skip a beat with my job or with this website that I enjoy sharing with you so much.

No such luck. Since I’ve been here, I’ve started dialysis to take some stress off my distressed kidney while it tries to heal. The hope is that I would be on dialysis for a short while, giving my transplanted kidney time to recuperate. Then, go off dialysis and try to squeak a few more months out before surgery is needed.

The alternative, though which is just as possible is that 1) I’ll be on dialysis until my mom is confirmed as a donor or 2) My mom is not a potential donor and then I would stay on dialysis while I wait on the list for a kidney to become available.

So that’s what’s been going on. That’s the reason for the lack of cake pops and cupcakes and cute. I just wanted to let you know something and thank everyone for their wonderful and inspiring get well wishes. You guys are a huge bright spot in my life. You have no idea how much.

Hugs,
Bakerella

301
Jen said...

Your in our prayers . Wishing you a fast recovery.

March 9, 2011 07:31 PM
302
Liz said...

My prayers are with you and your family. Your site has lifted me out of the sadness of difficult times and I hope that all the love and admiration that is posted here on your site, makes your day a little easier to bear…

March 9, 2011 07:31 PM
303
Pam said...

In my prayer for sure!

March 9, 2011 07:31 PM
304
isabella said...

Dear Bakerella,
Your posts always make me smile. I am fourteen and I love to bake. I really truly hope that you get better.
Love,
Isabell

March 9, 2011 07:31 PM
305
Heidi said...

I am so sorry to hear about everything that you are going through, I’ve never commented on your blog before, but I have to tell you what an inspiration you are to me. I have been following your blog for quite and have enjoyed everything that you post. You are wonderful! I have attempted to make your cake pops several times over the past year, its much harder than you make it look.
We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers and hope that you will have the support, strength, and faith to get through this.

March 9, 2011 07:32 PM
306
Maria from Argentina said...

I’ve been reading and enjoying your blog for a while but never posted anything. I’m so sorry to hear you’re going through this!

All my thoughts and good energy are with you!
I hope you have a speedy recovery and they find a match asap!
Big hugs to you and your family. We’ll be cheering for you!

March 9, 2011 07:32 PM
307
Cindy said...

You are an amazing woman. I pray that your donor comes through very soon.
You are in my thoughts and prayers for a quick recovery and to return to doing what you love to do. You deserve the very best!

March 9, 2011 07:32 PM
308
kimberly said...

Sending you lots of well wishes and a speedy recovery. I know your mom is praying she will be a perfect match for you. Thanks for letting us all know how you are doing. Take care and hope the best for you and your transplant. You have inspired so many of us in our little cakepop world.

March 9, 2011 07:33 PM
309
Kim Hamilton said...

Sweetie, I am so sorry you are going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you. And I am sure that the person who was your donor 18 years ago is more then happy with helping you live to the fullest. And all those yummy treats it has been able to process. What kidney wouldn;t love to be yours.
Good luck with a donor match.
God Speed.

March 9, 2011 07:33 PM
310
Susan said...

I am so sorry to hear your news as I’m sure the rest of your loyal fans are. I wish there were a way for me to brighten your day as you have mine with your exciting posts so many times. You are in my thoughts and I hope you get to feeling better! You ROCK Bakerella!

March 9, 2011 07:33 PM
311
Stephane said...

Love to you. Thinking of you. Praying for you. Wishing there was something I could do for you that would make a difference.

March 9, 2011 07:33 PM
312
Chris Davis said...

I’m so sorry that you are not feeling well. You are missed!!! My prayers and hugs are with you . Praying for a matching Kidney donor and that you will have a quick recovery! know that you are loved much!! God will see you through this!! God Bless you!!

March 9, 2011 07:34 PM
313
Jessi E said...

I will be praying for you and hoping that everything goes as smoothly and as easily as possible for you.

March 9, 2011 07:34 PM
314
Ellen said...

Praying for you Angie! Please keep all of your readers informed! We love you!

March 9, 2011 07:34 PM
315
Jessica said...

Wishing you the best of luck and sending many prayers your way! Hugs! <3

March 9, 2011 07:34 PM
316
Rebecca Martin said...

I’ve been a reader and fan for a long time but never commented until now. I am praying for you and hope that your mother is a match and things can progress quickly and that you have a full recovery soon. I hope you can feel all of this virtual love and warm wishes from everyone!

March 9, 2011 07:36 PM
317
Lindsey N said...

I hope you are back in the swing of things again soon, my thoughts will be with you!

March 9, 2011 07:37 PM
318
esther said...

*hug* *hug* *hug*

March 9, 2011 07:39 PM
319
Kelly Cifranic said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers! I miss your wonderful posts and hope you are back to doing the things you love super soon!

March 9, 2011 07:39 PM
320
Gina, Mom to The Shoe said...

Oh my gracious. You are most definitely in my thoughts and prayers! Hugs, hugs and more hugs to you!

March 9, 2011 07:40 PM
321
April Ockerman said...

Sending you love and prayers for healing and guidancce for the doctors on the best plan for recovery!

March 9, 2011 07:41 PM
322
Christine Wong said...

I think YOU are the bright spot in our lives :) Please get well soon. We all miss you a lot, and as you can very well see, we all love you and are wishing for the very best for you!

March 9, 2011 07:41 PM
323
Brandi said...

Much love and well wishes. <3

March 9, 2011 07:41 PM
324
Laura said...

Thinking of you and praying for your speedy recovery! Get well soon :)

March 9, 2011 07:42 PM
325
roberto said...

Dear Bakerella i wish you all the best 4 you ,and thanks a lot 4 make our life more sweet and share a lot of Love from you !,Gracias! te escribo desde España ,Canary islands (Tenerife) sorry my english not so good I Love U
God Blessyou Be Strong!.All of us be with you! ; )

March 9, 2011 07:42 PM
326
Julie said...

I wish you a fast and speedy recovery, and hope that your Mom is found to be a match or that you find a donor soon! You are in my prayers.

March 9, 2011 07:43 PM
327
Lydia said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you at the moment, reading all that got me all teary eyed, probably because you’re usually so happy and excited and to see you go through all this is really sad!
Hope you don’t have to wait so long, and thanks so much for updated us fans!
xx

March 9, 2011 07:44 PM
328
Gabi said...

The important thing is for you to get better! We can wait! =D

March 9, 2011 07:44 PM
329
Janelle said...

Praying for you and hope all turns out well soon. I can wait for the cuteness to return knowing you are taking care of your health.

March 9, 2011 07:45 PM
330
Christina said...

Thinking of you and wishing you a speedy recovery. I hope your mom is a match or that someone else is found quickly if she’s not.

March 9, 2011 07:45 PM
331
Amie said...

OH! Such sad news. My prayers are with you at this hard time. I will be awaiting your return!! :)

March 9, 2011 07:46 PM
332
Stacy said...

We love you Bakerella! Get well soon!

March 9, 2011 07:46 PM
333
LindaSonia said...

Thinking of you and lifting up prayers for you and hoping everything works out well. Hugs,

March 9, 2011 07:46 PM
334
Staci Brown said...

Oh, so sorry for you. Hugs!!!

March 9, 2011 07:48 PM
335
Jules said...

HUGE hugs and lots and lots of prayers for you (and your mom, too!). We’re all here cheering you on!!

March 9, 2011 07:49 PM
336
Barbara said...

I’m so sorry! You’ll be in my thoughts.

March 9, 2011 07:49 PM
337
Amy K said...

You’ve been missed. I have added you to my prayer list.

Take care, get well, and hope you’re home soon!

Blessings…

March 9, 2011 07:50 PM
338
Dori said...

I’ll add my thoughts and prayers to all of the millions of others going up for you!

I think your kidney donor would be proud–certainly far, far from let down!

Take the time to heal. To recover. We’ll all be here when you get back!

March 9, 2011 07:50 PM
339
Anna said...

Bakerella, you’ve given me so much joy through your website. I hope you find a kidney very soon!

Feel better!

March 9, 2011 07:50 PM
340
Allie said...

I will send you good thoughts! You are an amazing person and so inspiring. I hope you have a successful kidney transition and a speedy recovery.

March 9, 2011 07:50 PM
341
shannon said...

My thoughts & prayers are with you bakerella!
I’ve missed you online and hope that you feel better soon!!

March 9, 2011 07:51 PM
342
Linz said...

Your absence was definitely noticed. Best wishes for a speedy recovery! Sending good thoughts your way.

March 9, 2011 07:51 PM
343
Brunna said...

I’ll send you the best vibes ever!
Wish u get well real soon!
Big, big sweet kisses!

March 9, 2011 07:52 PM
344
Julie said...

Thanks for trusting us with your news! Sounds like you’ve now got a ton more people praying for you. :) Take care of yourself, and fingers crossed for the best and quickest possible outcome. We’re all here rooting for you!

March 9, 2011 07:52 PM
345
Sherry Turner said...

We will continue to pray for your complete healing. Glad you were feeling up to posting. We miss seeing your posts! Know you are loved! Praying your 100% really soon!

March 9, 2011 07:53 PM
346
Katie said...

You are now on my prayer list. I hope that you continue to get better in the mean time and that a new kidney can be found soon.

March 9, 2011 07:53 PM
347
Julia said...

I’m rooting for you!!
Hopefully everything will go well!!!
hugs

March 9, 2011 07:53 PM
348
Lauren said...

Hope you find a suitable donor and get back on your feet quickly!

March 9, 2011 07:53 PM
349
Krystal said...

Please, please take care of yourself.

March 9, 2011 07:53 PM
350
Beckie said...

I have been keeping you in my prayers. After several days of not posting, I suspected that you might be ill. Some of the lasts photos from signings, etc. that you shared with us, hinted at the fact that the kidney was not doing its best or at least I wondered.
Continuing to keep you in my thoughts and prayers. May your transplant be soon and you back in your kitchen with happy baking.
Beckie in Brentwood, TN

March 9, 2011 07:53 PM
351
Jennifer said...

I had no idea you were going through such a tough time! I hope for the very best outcome for both and you and your mother! ((HUGS)) Feel better soon and don’t worry, we will be hear when you get back, your health is most important!

March 9, 2011 07:54 PM
352
Erica said...

Sending tons of good thoughts and smiles to you! Love your cookbook and love your site and love how you have inspired me to bake more :)

March 9, 2011 07:54 PM
353
Cheryl Cole said...

Praying, expectantly, for you and your family…

March 9, 2011 07:55 PM
354
Gayle said...

Were do I sign up to see if I’m a match???

Yes you have been missed!!! Love and prayers are going your way!!!

March 9, 2011 07:56 PM
355
Sandi said...

Just wanted to say I hope you are feeling better soon and that good news will come your way. I have a kidney disease and I know someday I will be in your situation, so I can relate and understand the thoughts going through your mind. Prayers being sent your way. Thank you for always sharing such great ideas…. hope to see you back on here soon.

March 9, 2011 07:56 PM
356
Jen at Cabin Fever said...

My thoughts are prayers are with you. I hope that you are able to draw off these hundreds of comments and lift your spirits. The road is tough, but the lord never gives us more than we can handle. He must have a lot of faith in you :) Here’s to your recovery and return to all that is cute and cake pops.

Cabin Fever in Vermont

March 9, 2011 07:56 PM
357
BeeJay said...

Get well soon Bakerella! We miss you! Hoping for a speedy recovery! XOXO

March 9, 2011 07:56 PM
358
Anonymous said...

Feel better! Best wishes! God Bless! ?

March 9, 2011 07:56 PM
359
Adrienne said...

Good Luck!!! Sending positive thoughts for a speedy recovery & donation! definitely congrats on 18 years – that is wonderful!!! I’m sure you will be just a good to the next one :O) Best wishes – bring on the cute!!!

March 9, 2011 07:56 PM
360
Jessica said...

Praying that your Mom is a good match and that you will get better soon!

March 9, 2011 07:57 PM
361
JM said...

I’ve worked in the hospital and I know that dialysis is no fun! I wish you a speedy recovery and hope that you will be blessed with another kidney very soon!

March 9, 2011 07:57 PM
362
Katrina said...

I’m sending you a big, warm, virtual hug. You are the best food blogger out there. I’m thinking the nicest thoughts for you :)

March 9, 2011 07:57 PM
363
Diana said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you. Now its your readers turn to share some goodies, cute and cupcakes with you.

March 9, 2011 07:57 PM
364
Lily said...

i’m sorry to hear that you haven’t been feeling well and i hope either your mom is a match or that you’ll be the next on the list to get a kidney. i’ve worked with patients in that field and it’s not easy…my thoughts and prayers are with you. get better soon and i hope to see more of your great ideas soon!!

Lily

March 9, 2011 07:58 PM
365
Mary Ellen said...

Sending prayers and good wishes to you for a speedy recovery. Moms do the greatest things for their kids. Keeping you both in my thoughts. Thanks for updating us…we miss you. Take care.

March 9, 2011 07:58 PM
366
Marci J said...

My thoughts are with you and I wish you the speediest of recoveries!!!

March 9, 2011 07:59 PM
367
Erica said...

I was worried you were not well when it had been so long since your last post, sending lots of thoughts and prayers.

March 9, 2011 07:59 PM
368
MaryBeth said...

Oh sadness!! :(

Hugs, thought, prayers are all headed your way!

March 9, 2011 07:59 PM
369
Dawn said...

Where does the line form if your mom isn’t a match? You have been a wealth of inspiration and I wish you the best. Somehow I am sure once you recover you will be making the best kidney shaped cake-pop in honor of this terrible time.

March 9, 2011 07:59 PM
370
Tracey said...

I am so sorry to hear about your illness. You are so amazingly talented and I want to thank you so much for all the awesome work you have done and what you have shared. I will pray for a speedy recovery. God Bless!

March 9, 2011 07:59 PM
371
Kaitlyn said...

You will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers. You are an amazing person, and I hope you get better soon. BIG HUGS AND LOVE! <3

March 9, 2011 08:00 PM
372
steen said...

I will keep you in my thoughts. I hope everything works out and you get a new kidney soon and are back on the road to feeling better!!

March 9, 2011 08:00 PM
373
jessica said...

wishing you the very best. i love your site and your creativity, and now i admire you for your strength. you’re an inspiration and you’re in my thoughts. hoping for a speedy and successful recovery!

March 9, 2011 08:00 PM
374
AngelaW said...

Praying peace for you and your loved ones; and that you will quickly find a donor that will fit your needs, and your kidney will cooperate!!
I have always thought that we would be great friends if we ever met in person (afterall, you share my name) and so I am hoping for you, like I would any close friend.

Get Well, Soon! : )
Angela

March 9, 2011 08:00 PM
375
sonja lange said...

praying for you!

March 9, 2011 08:01 PM
376
Laura M. said...

Prayers are with you!! Your such sweet person, I know you will be just fine!!! we will all be here when Your ready and healthy again!!!

March 9, 2011 08:01 PM
377
lisa said...

get better soon! hugs!

March 9, 2011 08:02 PM
378
Stacy H. said...

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. I hope you can find a matching donor soon! Sending lots of love your way!

March 9, 2011 08:02 PM
379
Heather Paullus said...

We’ve definitely missed you on here! Praying that you will heal quickly and finding a donor (if not your mom) will go smoothly too.

March 9, 2011 08:04 PM
380
Amy said...

God bless you and prayers for a speedy recovery!

March 9, 2011 08:06 PM
381
Lyn said...

I, also, have never commented before, but have been reading your blog for a long time. All good thoughts & wishes your way!

March 9, 2011 08:06 PM
382
Nicole said...

I am not a blog-commenter, but I just had to say that I’m sending happy thoughts your way, and that I’m hoping for the best! You mean so much to so many of us, and I know we’re all hoping you recover quickly.

Hugs!

March 9, 2011 08:07 PM
383
Janet C said...

Hugs to you ,and wishing you a speedy recovery. Take your time, we’ll be here when you get back :)

March 9, 2011 08:07 PM
384
Nichola said...

Hoping for a speedy recovery Bakerella!! You are in all of our prayers

March 9, 2011 08:07 PM
385
Ashley said...

Thoughts and prayers are with you! You have a huge community here supporting you!!

March 9, 2011 08:08 PM
386
tink1272 said...

Oh, best wishes for you. I’m a long time reader as well. I hope all works out. My husband and I both teared up over this news. If I could donate organs, I would check for a possible match. Good luck and love to you!

March 9, 2011 08:08 PM
387
Michele said...

Get well soon Bakerella. We <3 and miss you!

March 9, 2011 08:09 PM
388
Elizabeth said...

{prayers} and {hugs}

March 9, 2011 08:09 PM
389
CeciliaUY said...

I hope you get better soon!! Best wishes from Uruguay! :)

March 9, 2011 08:10 PM
390
nikole said...

YOU’RE IN MY THOUGHTS!!! HERE’S TO A SPEEDY RECOVERY!!

March 9, 2011 08:10 PM
391
Laurel said...

Let me be one more person who takes this as the chance to FINALLY say “thank you” for your blog and for sharing yourself with us.

prayers from Salt Lake City, UT.

xoxo

March 9, 2011 08:10 PM
392
yainea said...

Get well soon wishes from Spain. We all are with you :)

March 9, 2011 08:11 PM
393
Tammy said...

I have missed you
I know everything will work out

March 9, 2011 08:11 PM
394
amy said...

hugs and prayers to you! you will be in my thoughts!

March 9, 2011 08:11 PM
395
julie said...

Take care of you, girl. We’ll wait :)

March 9, 2011 08:11 PM
396
Christine Culp said...

I’ve definitely missed your posts and am sad to hear that you are having to go through this. A friend of mine has PKD and went through dialysis and transplantation a couple years ago and I saw how hard it was for him. Will be praying for you!

March 9, 2011 08:12 PM
397
Laura said...

18 years is short of miraculous for a transplanted kidney! Anyway, my thoughts & prayers are with you. Hope you find a match soon!

March 9, 2011 08:12 PM
398
Heather said...

Get well soon!! You are such an amazing and strong woman and I will keep you and your family in my prayers!

March 9, 2011 08:12 PM
399
kelley said...

i’ve never met you, but i feel like we’re old friends. bakerella is one of the sites i visit every day and i assumed your absence was due to the fact that you were working on an awesome new book. you were missed! your posts make me smile; i wish you the best. my thoughts are with you.

March 9, 2011 08:12 PM
400
dina said...

I was wondering what happened to you but just thought you were busy writing books or creating treats. Never in a million years did I think you were sick in the hospital. How nice of you to post while laying in your hospital bed. You truly are dedicated and a woman with such grace and class. I hope everything turns out well for you my dear and for the love of God…get well and don’t worry about us little readers. We’ll be waiting for you until you come back. Because you, me dear, are worth the wait. Get well

Love,
Buttercream

March 9, 2011 08:12 PM
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